Mixing your own drinks might be fun, but if you explore the fridges at your local convenience store, there’s a whole world of bottled, somewhat unidentifiable, and inappropriately branded concoctions waiting to be discovered. We go all in to tell you which to pop, and which to avoid like the plague. We wouldn’t want you making the same mistakes we did.

RIO: Whisky and Rose (RMB 13.5)
“First impression: it looks like the color of toilet water after you put one of those cleaning cakes in the cistern.”
“This tastes chirpy… much too chirpy.”
“It kind of tastes like you’ve sprayed glade air freshener directly onto your mouth.”

Hello Kitty Limited Edition RIO: Vodka and Fruit Punch (RMB 13.8)
“Special edition you say? It tastes a little bit like my childhood.”
“It’s definitely getting better the more I try it, a little bit like something is killing my taste buds.” “Grease-themed Hello Kitty alcohol. That makes sense.”

Bacardi Breezer: Orange (RMB 12.8)
“What is there to say? It’s a breezer, and I’d be surprised if I should ingest this much sugar in one go.”
“Looks like if my childhood hamster, Scuttlebutt, were able to fill a whole bottle with pee.” “Beibingyang to get you lit.”

Zima Pink: Cherry (RMB 13.8)
“I can’t tell if that smell is the drink, or my tainted mug.”
“This would be something you could use to kill the Powerpuff Girls.”
“It’s made using cooking wine, I am not sure if I approve of that.”

Jack Daniels: Whisky and Coke (RMB 18)
“This tastes like the first year of university, except more posh.”
“Finally! We get to the good stuff.”
“We shouldn’t have done this taste test on a Monday morning – I’m enjoying this drink too much!”

Skyy: Vodka and Lemon (RMB 16.8)
“Smelling it might have burned off my nosehair.”
“The lemons on the pictures must be overripe, they also kind of look like flashcards in the classroom.“
“This is actually really not that bad, if you don’t want to mix your own drinks.”

Although most of these were much too sweet for our personal taste, and the childish themes seemed a little inappropriate, the pre-mixed Jack Daniels was a success and will definitely steal the show at our next party. Other than that, the Skyy mix was also not too heinous, and might go down easier if you add a slice of real lemon, or mix it into another cocktail.

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Photos: Joey Guo

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