It appears that the Chinese government is finally fed up with the dancing damas, the Guardian reports. Apparently, the authorities have hired a panel of experts to choreograph 12 state-approved square dances, which will then “Be introduced to local fitness sites in 31 provinces and municipalities in the next five months.”

It appears that the damas will not be allowed to dance any other dances and will be restricted to whatever the panel of oil black-haired, 62-year-old, personality devoid men decide.

The dancing damas first came into the international spotlight following an incident in Wuhan, where the dispute between the damas and the irritated neighbors made headlines in 2013 when the residents threw coins, rocks, and eventually even feces at them.

The main issue arises from the noise, as the damas are often found blasting Siberian classics loudly on homemade soundsystems until late at night, when other residents living near the targeted square may be getting ready for some well-deserved sleep.

Just recently, Xi’an was reported by China Daily to have cracked the whip on square dancing, dishing out RMB 200 fines to damas found to be disturbing public order with their intense dancing.

The General Administration of Sport and the Ministry of Culture is getting excited to regulate the phenomenon: “Square dancing represents the collective aspect of Chinese culture but now it seems that the overenthusiasm of participants has dealt it a harmful blow with disputes over noise and venues,” representative Liu Guoyong told the China Daily.

We've been wondering who is going to make these dances, but they'll be so kind as to let us make some suggestions, here are our top five moves to be incorporated:

1. The Dama Twerk (fun fact: the Chinese for twerk is diantunwu, literally 'electric butt dance')


2. The Dama Chicken Dance (or Pole-Dancing Chicken-Dama?)


3. Michael Damackson (Off The Great Wall, anyone?)


4. Breakdance Dama (perfect for those grannies intent on dancing outside of hospitals)


5. Egyptian Dama (with clothes, please. Please, please, with clothes!)


If neither of those take off and the powers that be have to ruin everyone's fun (once again), then why not just jump on a train and avoid the authorities while on the run, like these hot damas:

More stories by this author here.

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Photo: China Daily

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